Need help writing a best man speech? Take some tips from this funny best man speech example by Anthony, who delivers a wedding toast for his brother George.
Anthony’s speech hits all the hallmarks of a great best man’s speech: it’s sincere, it’s funny, it’s original, it’s the perfect length, and it’s delivered well.
Watch it for yourself, then read on as we break down why it worked so well, and what you can learn.
So how did Anthony do it? Let’s dig in. Here are 7 tips for writing and delivering your own great wedding toast.
- Make it funny by using known comedy techniques
Humour may seem like a dark art to some. But when you have a few comedy techniques in your back pocket, it can actually be pretty simple.
All jokes follow the same format: a set-up, followed by a punch.
One of the most effective ways to create a set-up-punch is to use the element of surprise, or say something unexpected. This almost always has a funny effect.
Anthony uses the element of surprise right at the top of his speech:
[0:13] ‘There comes a time in everyone’s life when they meet their one true love. Their soulmate. The person that’s going to love them for the rest of their life.’
The audience is set up to believe that Anthony is talking about George’s love with his new wife Nicole – but then he delivers an unexpected punchline:
‘That moment came for George 25 years ago when he met me.’
The joke prompts a huge reaction from the crowd, and gets Anthony’s speech off to a great start.
Want to learn more about injecting humour into your speech? Download my 5 Steps to Writing a Funny Speech Guide, where I go into this in more detail, and give more examples of comedy techniques you can steal.
- It’s worth taking the time to think of sincere compliments
Loads of wedding speeches are filled with wishy-washy, vague, cliche compliments to the married couple that we’ve all heard a million times before. You know the ones: ‘You’ve always been there for me’ ‘You look beautiful tonight’ ‘You’re the sister I never had’.
Yaawwwwwn.
These compliments have almost no impact, because we’ve heard them in almost every wedding toast that’s ever existed – the phrases are so common, they go in one ear, and out the other.
Anthony’s speech shines because he’s taken the time to dig a little deeper, and think of specific, unique traits that make George and Nicole special.
For example:
[2.59] ‘High school is where I first met Nicole. I met her in my freshman year, because we were both members of the digital yearbook. I remember instantly liking her, simply for the fact that she didn’t compare me to George, like a lot of the upperclassmen and even some of the teachers had. And beyond that, she was actually just a good person. I felt like I could be myself around her, I didn’t have to try and impress her – and I love you for that.’
By being more specific, and pointing out Nicole’s unique ability to accept others for who they are, the compliment has tons more impact, and tugs at the heartstrings of the bride, groom, and the rest of the audience.
- When in doubt, find speech content from key moments in the couple’s relationship
Struggling to come up with stories about the couple? Why not cast your mind back to key moments in the couple’s relationship, and go from there?
Think:
- The first time the groom introduced his partner to you
- The first time you met the groom
- The moment you knew they’d be together for the long-haul
Anthony refers to all of these moments in this speech, resulting in a sincere toast that keeps the couple at the heart of it.
- Stick to the wedding speech length sweet spot
Anthony’s speech clocks in at just over 6 minutes. It’s long enough to get the message across, but short enough that the crowd doesn’t start drifting off.
Generally, the perfect best man speech length is somewhere between 4-7 minutes.
Remember: leave them wanting a tiny bit more.
- Keep any teasing light and tasteful
Most best man speeches take a rise out of the groom – it’s a good way to make the speech humorous, and point to funny aspects of their past life or personality.
But repeat after me: a best man speech is not a roast.
If you rib the groom too hard, you could risk embarrassing him, putting a damper on an incredibly important day, and making the whole audience cringe.
You want to keep any teasing light, harmless and funny.
Anthony does this well:
[1.48] ‘Growing up, George and I were polar opposites. He was smart and driven; I was the funny goofball. He was athletic; I was – and still am – incredibly good looking.’
Anthony plays into the trope of himself being the ‘better looking brother’ – but the context makes it clear that it’s a joke, and the teasing is also wrapped up some of the groom’s unique qualities: that he’s smart, driven, and athletic.
- Use stories to illustrate your points
There’s a reason great wedding speeches are full of stories: they’re memorable, and they paint a more vivid picture of who the couple are.
Anthony could have said: ‘Nicole and George are both thoughtful and inclusive. Nicole brought George and I together more closely as brothers.’
It’s all nice stuff – but it’s unlikely to be remembered by the audience after the glasses have been raised and the champagne has been sipped.
Instead, Anthony says:
[3.49] ‘After college, George and I got a lot closer. We still fought, but we hung out a lot more as well. If Nicole and Goerge are having a low-key night, maybe going to the movies or going bowling, they would always invite me to tag along – and neither of them ever made me feel like I was the third wheel. I remember one night, they invited me out to dinner, and we were driving around afterwards. Laughing, smiling, having a great time. And I remember at that moment, I knew Nicole was going to be around for the long haul. She made my brother happy in a way I hadn’t seen him smile in a long time before that. I can honestly say Nicole, that you might be the reason my brother and I are as close as we are now.’
By illustrating his point with a story, Anthony brings the message to life, and makes it more interesting for the whole audience
- Rehearse. A lot.
Lots of people will tell you ‘not to memorise’ your speech.
‘Just remember the key points’, they’ll say. Or: ‘Just speak from the heart’.
Unless you’re Kendrick Lamar or Ricky Gervais – or someone else who’s used to thinking on their feet in front of large groups of people – I only have three words for you: don’t do this.
You can read more about my thoughts on winging your speech here, but here’s the short version:
Something funny happens when we get in front of groups to speak: we freeze up, our hearts pound, our mouths go dry. And if we don’t know our speech well enough? We might completely forget what to say.
A lot of people combat this by simply reading off a piece of paper – or their phone. It’s not the end of the world, if the speech is written well – but it doesn’t always make for a memorable, knock-out speech.
Anthony’s speech stands out because he knows it off by heart. You can see it in the way he looks around the crowd and uses his hands to gesture. He’s not trying to remember what to say next, or think of what he wrote down. He’s comfortable, he speaks clearly, he’s confident, and he’s calm.
He doesn’t fumble his words, or trail off, or use ‘umm’s and ‘ahh’s to muscle his way through it.
Make no mistake: this is a speech he has spent hours rehearsing. He’s rehearsed it so much, he knows it on a cellular level.
The bad news? It probably took him a while. The good news? There’s no reason you can’t do this too.
I’ve written a full guide on how to get to this level of confidence. With enough dedication, I truly believe anyone can get there. Access it here.
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