You’ve Googled “how to write a maid of honour speech” three times already — and every result made you cringe.
I hear you. And if you’ve arrived at this Ultimate Guide, it’s because you care about getting your maid of honour speech right. You’re not looking for cheesy templates or one-size-fits-all jokes. You want a smart, emotionally intelligent speech — one that feels honest, thoughtful, and worthy of the moment.
You know a brilliant speech when you hear one. But writing one? Especially when you don’t feel like “the funny one” or “the creative one”? That’s a whole other thing.
You’re not trying to be Michelle Obama. You don’t need to bring the house down or deliver the most unforgettable wedding speech of all time. You just want a few warm laughs, a speech that makes the bride feel seen, and something you can look back on with pride.
Not that much to ask, right?
That’s exactly why I wrote this guide — to help smart, capable maids of honour like you write a brilliant wedding speech without the panic spiral.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
Step 1: Understand what makes a maid of honour speech actually great
1. It has a throughline
Have you ever listened to a speech that just… jumped all over the place?
It starts with a funny childhood story, suddenly jumps to an emotional wedding anecdote, then backtracks to that time at university, and ends with a vague “cheers to the couple!” You can tell the speaker had good stuff — but no clear idea of where they were going.
That’s what happens when a speech doesn’t have a throughline.
A throughline is the central idea that ties everything together. It’s not a thesis (this isn’t Year 10 English), but it’s the emotional thread that holds your stories, reflections, and compliments in place. Think of it like a clothesline: every story you share should hang from it.
A strong throughline transforms a collection of anecdotes into something meaningful, cohesive, and unforgettable. It gives the audience a sense of journey — and helps your speech land with real emotional weight.
A few examples of strong maid of honour speech throughlines:
“Sophie always shows up for the people she loves — and I know she’ll show up for this marriage, too.”
“Emma has the rare gift of turning chaos into joy — and I’ve never seen her happier than she is with Dan.”
“Throughout our friendship, Claire has been the kindest, most grounded person I know — and her relationship with Sarah is a beautiful reflection of that.”
2. It makes the bride feel truly seen
The heart of a brilliant maid of honour speech? Making the bride feel deeply known and appreciated.
It’s like giving the perfect compliment: not something generic like “you’re so thoughtful,” but something that reflects who she really is. The kind of compliment that makes people pause and smile because it feels so true.
“You always know what to say when I’m feeling low.”
“Since you came into my life, things have felt steadier, kinder, lighter.”
Your speech should dig up those beautiful truths, polish them off, and hold them up in the light. It should help everyone in the room feel like they understand her — maybe even more than they did before.
3. It acknowledges the partner, too
Yes, your speech is mostly about the bride. But if you can, take a moment to acknowledge her partner too — not with a forced joke or generic praise, but something warm and genuine.
Maybe it’s how they’ve brought out a new (and lovely) side of your friend. Maybe it’s how easily they’ve become part of your friendship group or family. A short, thoughtful nod can go a long way — and means the world to the couple.
4. It makes sense to the whole room
Nothing loses a room faster than an unexplained inside joke. You know the type:
“No one has as much fun as us — remember Alberta, the vineyard? HA!” (Cue 87 confused faces.)
If you’re telling a story, set it up properly with a beginning, middle, and end so everyone feels included. A great speech doesn’t just connect with the couple — it brings the whole room along for the ride.
5. It’s emotionally intelligent
You’re smart enough to know this already, but I’ll emphasise it anyway: a great wedding speech knows where the line is.
That means no mentions of exes, no risqué anecdotes, no roast-style digs. Leave out anything that could make the bride, her partner, or her grandma squirm in their seat.
Let your speech reflect the warmth, joy, and significance of the occasion. Make the bride feel proud that you were the one chosen to speak.
6. It focuses on the positive
You can include a moment of hardship — especially if the bride supported you through it — but be mindful of where the emotional spotlight lands.
If you mention a tough time, do it briefly and thoughtfully. Then shift focus back to the bride: what she did, what it meant, and how it changed things for the better. The tone should still feel celebratory — not sombre.
7. (Optional) It’s funny — but never forced
Let’s be clear: your speech does not need to be hilarious to be amazing.
Humour is a lovely bonus — not a requirement. If you’re naturally funny or want to add lightness, go for it. But let the humour live inside the stories, not as stand-alone punchlines.
Here’s the golden rule: when humour is woven into something true, it doesn’t feel forced. And if the joke doesn’t land? The story still stands on its own. Win-win.
Step 2: Follow a simple, proven maid of honour speech structure that works every time
Let’s be honest: staring at a blank Google Doc and willing brilliance to appear is not a sustainable speechwriting strategy.
You’re smart. You’re articulate. But you still need a starting point — and a structure that helps you organise your thoughts in a way that actually works.
This is the same structure I use when writing professional wedding speeches for my clients. It’s simple, flexible, and guaranteed to keep you focused on what really matters: making the bride feel seen, making the couple feel celebrated, and making you feel proud of what you delivered.
Let’s break it down.
1. Opening: How you know the bride (or couple)
Start by anchoring yourself in the story. Who are you to the bride? How long have you known each other? Was it love at first sight as friends, or did you warm up to each other slowly?
This is a great place to include something warm, observational, and true — even a one-liner that hints at her personality. For example:
“I met Sophie in the student lounge at law school. She was wearing Crocs, quoting Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and had just given unsolicited legal advice to someone buying a vending machine snack.”
It’s a lovely way to set the tone and get your first chuckle or smile.
2. A quality that makes her a great partner
Now, zoom in on something about the bride that would also make her a brilliant spouse. It could be her optimism, her calm in a crisis, her loyalty, her sense of fun, or the way she shows up for the people she loves.
Pick one core trait and build around it.
“What I’ve always admired about Sophie is how she can find the silver lining in literally anything.”
3. Tell a story that brings that quality to life
This is where your speech starts to shine. Stories are what people remember — not adjectives. Think of a time that shows the trait in action.
Maybe it’s the time she comforted you during a rough breakup, or the time she got you hopelessly lost in Sri Lanka but somehow made it the highlight of your trip.
The story doesn’t have to be long. But it should be:
- Clear and easy for the audience to follow
- Emotionally resonant or funny (or both)
- Framed around her, and your admiration for her
4. Shift focus: A moment for her partner
Even if you haven’t spent heaps of time with the partner, this is a beautiful chance to acknowledge them. What makes them a good fit? What balances or brings out the best in your friend?
If you’ve witnessed a moment that made you think “yep, this is the real deal” — now’s the time to share it.
“I remember watching Sophie and Ben argue about whether the sun or the moon was more ‘loyal,’ and thinking: only two people this weird and this well-matched could find each other.”
This section can be heartfelt, humorous, or both. Just make sure it centres on their compatibility and shared joy.
5. The ending: Punchy and heartfelt (or funny)
You don’t need to go big here — just bring it home with intention.
Some options:
- Loop back to your opening line/story and tie it up
- Share one final wish for their marriage
- Offer a meaningful quote that fits the tone (skip the overused ones!)
- Or go for something short and cheeky that still feels sincere
“To Sophie and Ben — may your debates always be ridiculous, your laughter always be loud, and your snacks always be shared equally. Let’s raise a glass to the happy couple.”
Step 3: Choose quality content for your maid of honour speech
You sit down to write… and your brain goes completely blank.
It’s strange, isn’t it? You’ve known the bride for years — maybe since childhood — or maybe just a few whirlwind months. Either way, you suddenly can’t think of a single story that doesn’t feel too boring, too private, or just not speech-worthy.
Here’s the reassuring truth: this happens to everyone. People who’ve known the bride forever often find it just as hard to choose the right memories as those who’ve only been close a short time.
The good news? A great speech doesn’t require an encyclopaedic history of your friendship. It just needs:
- A few well-chosen details
- A clear theme
- One or two short stories that illustrate why this bride is extraordinary, and why this couple will go the distance
🎯 Focus your maid of honour speech around two things:
- What makes the bride special
- Why she’ll make a great spouse
That’s it. That’s the brief.
If you hit those two notes with warmth and clarity, you’re golden.
🧠 Brain-dump your observations
Open the Notes app on your phone, or grab a notebook. Start jotting down anything that comes to mind — no filter, no pressure. Think of it as raw material. You’re not writing your speech yet, just collecting clay.
Here are some prompts to get you going:
Personal details and traits
- What are her standout personality traits? (E.g. analytical, spontaneous, loyal, funny
- How would you describe her outlook on life?
- What are her values? (E.g. honesty, kindness, ambition, family)
- What’s her vibe at a party — centre of attention, or deep chats in the corner?
Lifestyle & hobbies
- What does she do for work — and does she love it?
- How does she spend her weekends?
- Does she have a go-to meal, signature drink, or secret talent?
- Is she a world traveller or a homebody?
- What kind of friend is she? (E.g. the one who always checks in, plans everything, gives great advice)
Fun specifics
- Is there a celebrity she’s obsessed with (or can’t stand)?
- Is she known for any quirks, phrases, or habits?
- What’s her sense of style?
- Is she a planner or more go-with-the-flow?
Your relationship
- How do you know her?
- What moments define your friendship?
- What have you learned from her?
- When did she make you feel especially seen, safe, or supported?
💡 Then: Connect the dots
For each thing you’ve jotted down, ask: Could this show why she’ll make a great partner?
You don’t need to force it — sometimes the link will be subtle or playful. For example:
Trait: She’s patient
Story: She once spent 8 hours knitting a baby blanket, then hunted down rare yarn in a tiny store on holiday
Connection: If she brings that kind of patience and care to a relationship, her partner’s a lucky one
Or:
Trait: She’s obsessed with interior design
Story: She turned your disastrous flat into a Pinterest dream
Connection: She brings beauty and order to the spaces — and people — around her
Once you’ve got one or two of these gems, you’re ready to build your speech around them.
Don’t worry if it feels light-hearted or “not deep enough”
A speech doesn’t need to be profound to be powerful. Even simple details can shine when delivered with sincerity and a little storytelling flair.What matters most is that you’re highlighting something real. When you do that, your speech will feel personal, engaging, and — crucially — true to you.
Step 4: Find a tone that’s warm, witty, and/or just totally “you”
There’s a reason so many people aim for humour in wedding speeches: it works. Laughter is one of the quickest ways to build connection. When a room full of people laugh together, they feel closer — to you, to each other, and to the couple.
Some of the most memorable speeches I’ve ever written or witnessed have had generous helpings of laughter — the kind that feels warm, joyful, and true.
But here’s the catch: when humour doesn’t land, it’s painfully obvious.
At best, it gets a few polite smirks. At worst, it triggers groans, awkward glances, or that moment where people start scrolling their phones under the table.
The good news? You can avoid all of that — and still be funny. You just need to understand what kind of humour works in a wedding speech… and what doesn’t.
First things first: You don’t have to be funny to give a great maid of honour speech.
Truly. This isn’t a comedy routine. You’re not auditioning for a spot on Saturday Night Live — you’re here to honour your friend and help everyone celebrate the couple.
Your job is to:
- Pay tribute to the bride
- Welcome her partner into your shared circle
- Offer your sincere wishes for their future together
If you do that with warmth, clarity, and even a hint of personality, you’re already 90% of the way to a brilliant speech.
Humour is just the cherry on top — a bonus, not the goal.=
So… what if you’re not “the funny one”?
If you’re not the class clown or the office personality hire, don’t worry. You can still make people laugh. In fact, wedding speeches are probably the easiest place to land a laugh — because the audience is already on your side. They want to enjoy themselves.
The trick is not to go looking for jokes. Instead, write your speech honestly, and then look for moments where a funny turn of phrase, a cheeky aside, or a self-aware observation can add levity.
Humour that’s woven into a story is almost always better than a one-liner. Why?
Because if no one laughs at a story, it still works.
If no one laughs at a joke, it dies a slow and painful death.
Big difference.
✍️ A few tone tips to keep in mind
✅ Write like you speak — but with intention. You’re not giving a TED Talk or writing an academic essay. You’re speaking as you — just on your best, most articulate day. Keep it conversational, but don’t be afraid to craft your words carefully. The best speeches sound natural, not off-the-cuff.
✅ Let your natural personality lead the way.You don’t have to be “the funny one,” or “the eloquent one.” You just have to be yourself. If you’re warm and sincere, lean into that. If you’re known for dry observations or subtle one-liners, great — sprinkle those in. The best speeches reflect the speaker and the subject.
✅ Use gentle humour, not digs. This isn’t the time for roasts or inside jokes that leave the room out. If your humour is kind, observational, and woven into a story, it’ll land. Think less stand-up comic, more charming dinner party guest.
✅ Aim for warmth over wit. A speech that makes the bride feel loved and understood will always win over one that’s straining for punchlines. If a joke doesn’t land, the moment passes. If a heartfelt truth resonates, people remember it.
💡Hot tip: write your first draft without trying to be funny. Once it’s done, go back through and ask
- Is there a moment where I could add a funny detail?
- Could I make this observation more playful or self-aware?
- Is there a bit of surprise or contrast I could lean into for humour?
That way, your humour feels natural — never forced.
Step 5: Remember key dos and don’ts of maid of honour speeches
You don’t need a speechwriting degree to deliver something moving and memorable. But you do need to know where the line is between “that was beautiful” and “oof, she lost the room.”
These dos and don’ts are your cheat sheet — designed to keep you grounded, focused, and confident about what belongs in your speech (and what’s best left out).
Whether you’re in the early drafting phase or doing your final run-through, this list will help you stay on track.
✅ Do: Paint the bride in a flattering light
Why: You’re there to honour her—not roast her. Even if you include a playful story, make sure it ends with warmth or admiration. Think of it like a highlight reel of her best qualities, shown through your eyes.
✅ Do: Mention her partner
Why: It’s a wedding speech, not a bestie-only monologue. Acknowledge their relationship and the person she’s chosen to build her life with. Bonus points for a story or observation that captures what makes them a great team.
✅ Do: Start NOW – don’t procrastinate
Why: The best speeches need time to breathe. Give yourself space to reflect, draft, revise, and rehearse. Last-minute speeches always sound last-minute. If you start now, you’ll feel clearer, calmer, and way more proud of what you deliver.
✅ Do: Practice in front of someone else – LOTS
Why: You’ll catch clunky lines, sharpen your rhythm, and find out where you naturally pause or stumble. Practicing out loud (especially with a trusted friend) helps you speak with heart, not just memory. And it also helps you barge through that first dose of self-consiouness that comes with speaking your thoughts aloud for the first time. It’s TOTALLY natural to fumble the first time you deliver it in front of someone else – fight throughthe feeling, and forge on. It’s much better a fumble happens in a practice round, than in the real thing.
✅ Do: Keep it short and sweet
Why: 4–6 minutes is your sweet spot. That’s long enough to be meaningful, short enough to keep everyone engaged. Every line should earn its place — if it doesn’t serve the speech, cut it.
✅ Do: Speak slowly and clearly
Why: Nerves make people speed up. Slow down more than feels natural—you’ll come across as calm and confident, and the audience will actually catch your words (especially the jokes and emotional lines!).
❌ Don’t: Read off your phone
Why: It looks unprepared and disconnected. Print your speech or use cue cards. Glancing up — especially at the couple — gives your words more power and presence.
❌ Don’t: Mention exes
Why: Even as a throwaway joke, it kills the vibe. Keep the focus forward-facing and celebratory. The past can stay in the past.
❌ Don’t: Use inside jokes
Why: If the room doesn’t get it, you’ll lose them. Rework private memories into stories that are accessible to everyone, even those who’ve just met the bride for the first time.
❌ Don’t: Wing it
Why: Improvised speeches sound improvised. They ramble, they repeat, and they usually miss the emotional high points. Even if you’re a great talker, a plan (and a practiced draft) will make your speech land stronger.
❌ Don’t: Make it all about you
Why: This isn’t your origin story. You’re there to celebrate her and them. You can absolutely share your bond and what she means to you—but make sure it all connects back to why she’s amazing, and why this couple works.
Step 6: Tame your nerves before the big moment
Hate public speaking? You’re not alone.
Maybe you can lead a team meeting, present to senior execs, and run a bachelorette weekend like a military operation — but somehow, the thought of giving a wedding speech sends your heart rate through the roof.
Totally normal.
A maid of honour speech can feel especially nerve-wracking because it’s personal. You’re not just sharing ideas — you’re opening your heart in front of a room full of people. And that takes courage.
Here’s how to keep the nerves in check, and deliver your speech with calm, confidence, and genuine warmth.
✅ The maid of honour speech confidence-boosting toolkit
1. Practice out loud — a lot
Not in your head. Not silently mouthing the words. Out loud. Full volume. The more you practise like it’s the real thing, the more natural it will feel on the day.
Pro tip: Record yourself and play it back. Yes, it’s awkward. But it helps you catch rushed sections, unclear lines, or weird phrasing — and it builds comfort hearing your own voice.
2. Practice standing up and with your printed notes
If you’re using a mic, practise holding something similar so it doesn’t feel foreign.
Muscle memory is real. Rehearse with the exact setup you’ll use on the day — printed speech or cue cards in hand, standing on your feet, glass of water nearby.
3. Pause before you begin
When you stand up, take a breath. Smile. Make eye contact with the couple. You don’t need to launch in straight away — taking a beat helps ground you, and signals confidence.
4. Slow. It. Down.
Nerves speed us up — and speed kills good speeches. Pause between thoughts. Let the room react. This not only makes you sound more poised, it helps you stay in control.
5. Expect emotion — and don’t panic when it shows up
It’s okay if your voice wobbles. It’s okay if you tear up. In fact, it’s kind of beautiful. Emotion means you care — and audiences respond to that.
If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed:
- Take a breath and pause (no one will mind)
- Look at the bride — not the crowd
- Keep going. You’ve got this.
6. Choose your anchor
Before the wedding, decide where you’ll focus your gaze if you get flustered. This could be:
- The bride
- A friend in the audience who makes you feel calm
- The page in front of you
Having a go-to visual anchor can keep you grounded if nerves spike.
7. Remember: this isn’t a performance — it’s a gift
You’re not being judged. No one expects you to be flawless. They just want to see you — sincere, thoughtful, and speaking from the heart.
This is your moment to celebrate someone you love. That’s it. And no one’s better equipped to do that than you.
Step 7: Get help if you’re still stuck
Even with the best structure, the clearest advice, and the warmest encouragement… sometimes the words still won’t come.
That doesn’t mean you’re not capable — it just means this speech matters to you. And when something really matters, it’s easy to overthink, get stuck, or start second-guessing every sentence.
The good news? You don’t have to do this alone.
At The Speech Department, I offer a few smart support tools to help you get unstuck — whether you’re looking for a done-for-you draft, a little professional polish, or a safe space to practise with like-minded maids of honour.
